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Richard Fein: Two Poems
Guidelines | Fixing My Toilet


"Poets should submit a batch of no more than five short poems or two long ones."

Why batch?
Why not one of these terms:

collection, (only if the bard is a lapidary, and his creations are gems)
sample, (fine for urine or stools)
specimen, (too close in nuance to sample)
store, (too commercial, and how many editors pay for poems?)
manuscript, (OK for those editors who do)
heap, (might be accurate for some submissions)
digest, (but if you're confronted with a heap, you might heave)
mass, (produces an inertial yawn)
ana, (only for confessionals, but they're all passe since Plath)
miscellany, (not for thematic editions)
anthology or compilation, (but if a poet reaches this level, then editors submit to the poet)
lot, (submissions are lotteries and not a lot succeed)?

How about bouquet—
a bouquet of five short-stem poetic wild flowers,
or two long-stem versified roses,
or one bashful sunflower?

Fixing My Toilet

The gurgling sound is not really unpleasant,
sort of an ebbing tide on a tropical beach
that lulls me to sleep on the warm sand.
All I need is a little imagination.
The chain inside the tank is a few links too long,
so each flush sucks it under the valve.
Thus the valve sits ajar over the drain
as I rest uneasily on my bed.
I could rise and lift the heavy tank lid
and pull the chain, but I'd soon have to flush again.
I could prune the few links and reattach the chain,
but that requires proper tools and skills.
I could call a pro but it's eighty a session, minimum.
Worse I'd have to open my door
and let him pass through my disordered rooms
to reach my cluttered bathroom,
where he'd measure my world against the ceramic white.
So the valve totters on the chain,
and I rest uneasily in my bed.
I could yank the chain. I could skillfully snip.
I could hire a pro to adeptly trim.
But some kind of suction fixes my legs to the bed,
while my mind is free to dream.
There's a warm beach and an ebbing tide.

Poet's Biography:
Richard Fein has been published in numerous print and web journals. If you're a masochist you can find more of his poetic opera on his web page.

© 1999 - 2003, by the poets featured herein.